What is self-harm?

About 1 in 10 young people will self-harm at some point.
Self harming may mean:

Taking too many tablets
Cutting themselves
Burning their body
Banging their head
Throwing their body against something hard
Punching themselves
Sticking things in their body
Swallowing inappropriate things

Some people self harm only once or twice, but others do it regularly - it can become almost an addiction.

What makes people self-harm?

It usually happens in a state of high emotion and inner turmoil. This may be caused by abuse; feeling depressed; feeling bad about yourself or relationship problems. You may do it because you feel that people don't listen to you; you feel hopeless, alone, out of control or powerless. People who self-harm are more likely to have been abused in childhood.

Self-harming can help you to feel in control and less tense. So, it can be a 'quick fix' for feeling bad.

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What help is there?

Talking: Talking can help you to feel less alone, to see your problems more clearly. Many young people find it helpful just to talk anonymously to someone else about what is happening to them. Knowing that someone else knows what you are going through can help you to feel less alone with your problems.
Self-help groups: People with the similar problems can provide support and practical advice – and, believe it or not, sharing your problems in a group does help. Others in the group will almost certainly have had similar experiences.
Help with relationships: Self-harm is often the result of a crisis in a close relationship. If this is the case, help with solving the difficulties in the relationship will be needed.
Talking to a Professional: For people who use self-harm to cope with other problems, one to one treatments can help.

All these treatments help. Some evidence suggests that problem-solving therapy may be best.

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What if I don't get help?

1 in 3 people who self-harm will do it again within a year. People who self-harm are 50 times more likely to kill themselves. The risk increases with age and is much greater for men. Cutting can cause scarring, numbness or paralysis.

How can I help myself?

Below are written some examples of what you can try either when you want to hurt yourself and after you're felt the need (the urge has gone) to hurt yourself. When you want to harm yourself:

If you can ride out how you feel without self-harming, the feelings will usually go after a few hours.
You can talk to someone, distract yourself by going out, sing or listen to music, or do anything (harmless) that interests you.
Try to relax and focus your mind on something pleasant.
Find another way to express your feelings such as squeezing ice cubes (make them with red juice to mimic blood if that helps), or draw red lines on your skin.
Give yourself some 'harmless pain' - eat a hot chilli, or have a cold shower.
Focus on positives.
Be kind to yourself – get a massage.
Write a diary or a letter, to explain what is happening to you – no one else needs to see it.

When the urge has gone:

Think about the times that you have self-harmed and what (if anything) has helped.
Go back in your mind to the last time when you did not want to self-harm, and move forward in your memory from there. Where were you, who were you with, and what you were feeling? Try to work out why you began feeling like you did. Did your self-harm give you a sense of escape, or relief, or control? Try to work out something to do that might give you the same result, but that doesn't damage you (i.e. the examples given above). Make a recording by talking about your good points and why you don't want to self-harm.
When you feel bad, play this back to remind you of the parts of you that are worthwhile.
Make a 'crisis plan' of what to do when you feel bad.

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What if I don't want to stop

OK, but reduce the damage. If you cut, use clean blades. Find ways of hurting yourself that doesn't damage your body (i.e. the examples given above).

If you can say yes to at least 3 of the questions below, it's worth trying to stop:

Are there at least two people who are willing to help me stop?
Do I have friends that I can go to if I get desperate?
Have I found at least two safe ways that reduce the feelings that make me self-harm?
Can I really say to myself that I want to stop hurting myself?
Can I tell myself that I WILL tolerate feelings that make me want to self-harm?
Is there a professional who will give me support and help in a crisis?

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What if I harm myself and need treatment?

You have the right to be treated with courtesy and respect by the doctors and nurses in the Accident and Emergency department. Many departments have a psychiatric liaison nurse, or a social worker, who can talk with you. Staff may want to go through a questionnaire with you as a way of judging how at risk you are.

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What can I do if I know someone who self-harms?

If you know someone who is hurting/self-harming there are ways in which you can support them. Below are examples of what you can do and also examples of what you should not do: Things you can do:

Listen to them without being critical. This can be very hard if you are upset or angry. Try to focus on them rather than your feelings – this is hard.
Try to understand their feelings, and then move the conversation to other things.
Take the mystery out of self-harm by helping them find out about self-harm on the Internet or at the library.
Help them to think about their self-harm not as a shameful secret, but as a problem to be sorted out.

Things you shouldn't do:

Try to be their therapist – you have enough to deal with as their friend.
Expect them to stop overnight – it's difficult and takes time.
Get angry as this may make them feel worse. Talk calmly about the effect it has on you - in a way that shows how much you care for them.
Struggle with them when they are about to self-harm – it's better to walk away and to suggest they come and talk about it rather than do it.
Make them promise not to do it again or make your involvement conditional on them stopping.

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Contacts

www.selfharm.org.uk - Resource for young people who self-harm.
www.recoveryourlife.com - A self-harm self-help and support site.
ChildLine – Free national helpline for young people, with confidential advice on all sorts of problems; 0800 1111.
Samaritans – Telephone and email support for anyone who is worried, upset, or suicidal; 0845 90 90 90. Email jo@samaritans.org.
NHS Direct – A helpline with health advice provided by NHS nurses; 0845 4647.
PAPYRUS is a voluntary UK organisation committed to the prevention of young suicide and the promotion of mental health and emotional wellbeing. Helpline:- HOPELineUK 08000 68 41 41 Mon-Fri 10:00 am to 5:00 pm and 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm Weekends 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm

Wandsworth Safeguarding

Supporting and Protecting Todays Youth

What is self-harm?

What makes people self-harm?

What help is there?

What if I don't get help?

How can I help myself?

What if I don't want to stop

What if I harm myself and need treatment?

What can I do if I know someone who self-harms?

Contacts

Information for Children and Young People What is abuse? What to do if you're worried The Internet and mobiles Sexual health Bullying Weapons Drugs and alcohol Domestic violence Self harming Too thin or fat? Running away Young carers Children with disabilities Not living with your parents? Useful Links E-Safety Strategy Information for Parents, Carers, Families and Friends Information for Professionals working with Children and Young People About Us Contact Us Policies and Procedures Resources Training		On this page: What is self harm? \| What makes people self harm? \| What help is there? \| What if I don't get help? \| How can I help myself? \| What if I don't want to stop \| What if I need treatment \| Know someone that self harms? \| Contacts What is self-harm? About 1 in 10 young people will self-harm at some point. Self harming may mean: Taking too many tablets Cutting themselves Burning their body Banging their head Throwing their body against something hard Punching themselves Sticking things in their body Swallowing inappropriate things Some people self harm only once or twice, but others do it regularly - it can become almost an addiction. What makes people self-harm? It usually happens in a state of high emotion and inner turmoil. This may be caused by abuse; feeling depressed; feeling bad about yourself or relationship problems. You may do it because you feel that people don't listen to you; you feel hopeless, alone, out of control or powerless. People who self-harm are more likely to have been abused in childhood. Self-harming can help you to feel in control and less tense. So, it can be a 'quick fix' for feeling bad. Top of page What help is there? Talking: Talking can help you to feel less alone, to see your problems more clearly. Many young people find it helpful just to talk anonymously to someone else about what is happening to them. Knowing that someone else knows what you are going through can help you to feel less alone with your problems. Self-help groups: People with the similar problems can provide support and practical advice – and, believe it or not, sharing your problems in a group does help. Others in the group will almost certainly have had similar experiences. Help with relationships: Self-harm is often the result of a crisis in a close relationship. If this is the case, help with solving the difficulties in the relationship will be needed. Talking to a Professional: For people who use self-harm to cope with other problems, one to one treatments can help. All these treatments help. Some evidence suggests that problem-solving therapy may be best. Top of page What if I don't get help? 1 in 3 people who self-harm will do it again within a year. People who self-harm are 50 times more likely to kill themselves. The risk increases with age and is much greater for men. Cutting can cause scarring, numbness or paralysis. How can I help myself? Below are written some examples of what you can try either when you want to hurt yourself and after you're felt the need (the urge has gone) to hurt yourself. When you want to harm yourself: If you can ride out how you feel without self-harming, the feelings will usually go after a few hours. You can talk to someone, distract yourself by going out, sing or listen to music, or do anything (harmless) that interests you. Try to relax and focus your mind on something pleasant. Find another way to express your feelings such as squeezing ice cubes (make them with red juice to mimic blood if that helps), or draw red lines on your skin. Give yourself some 'harmless pain' - eat a hot chilli, or have a cold shower. Focus on positives. Be kind to yourself – get a massage. Write a diary or a letter, to explain what is happening to you – no one else needs to see it. When the urge has gone: Think about the times that you have self-harmed and what (if anything) has helped. Go back in your mind to the last time when you did not want to self-harm, and move forward in your memory from there. Where were you, who were you with, and what you were feeling? Try to work out why you began feeling like you did. Did your self-harm give you a sense of escape, or relief, or control? Try to work out something to do that might give you the same result, but that doesn't damage you (i.e. the examples given above). Make a recording by talking about your good points and why you don't want to self-harm. When you feel bad, play this back to remind you of the parts of you that are worthwhile. Make a 'crisis plan' of what to do when you feel bad. Top of page What if I don't want to stop OK, but reduce the damage. If you cut, use clean blades. Find ways of hurting yourself that doesn't damage your body (i.e. the examples given above). If you can say yes to at least 3 of the questions below, it's worth trying to stop: Are there at least two people who are willing to help me stop? Do I have friends that I can go to if I get desperate? Have I found at least two safe ways that reduce the feelings that make me self-harm? Can I really say to myself that I want to stop hurting myself? Can I tell myself that I WILL tolerate feelings that make me want to self-harm? Is there a professional who will give me support and help in a crisis? Top of page What if I harm myself and need treatment? You have the right to be treated with courtesy and respect by the doctors and nurses in the Accident and Emergency department. Many departments have a psychiatric liaison nurse, or a social worker, who can talk with you. Staff may want to go through a questionnaire with you as a way of judging how at risk you are. Top of page What can I do if I know someone who self-harms? If you know someone who is hurting/self-harming there are ways in which you can support them. Below are examples of what you can do and also examples of what you should not do: Things you can do: Listen to them without being critical. This can be very hard if you are upset or angry. Try to focus on them rather than your feelings – this is hard. Try to understand their feelings, and then move the conversation to other things. Take the mystery out of self-harm by helping them find out about self-harm on the Internet or at the library. Help them to think about their self-harm not as a shameful secret, but as a problem to be sorted out. Things you shouldn't do: Try to be their therapist – you have enough to deal with as their friend. Expect them to stop overnight – it's difficult and takes time. Get angry as this may make them feel worse. Talk calmly about the effect it has on you - in a way that shows how much you care for them. Struggle with them when they are about to self-harm – it's better to walk away and to suggest they come and talk about it rather than do it. Make them promise not to do it again or make your involvement conditional on them stopping. Top of page Contacts www.selfharm.org.uk - Resource for young people who self-harm. www.recoveryourlife.com - A self-harm self-help and support site. ChildLine – Free national helpline for young people, with confidential advice on all sorts of problems; 0800 1111. Samaritans – Telephone and email support for anyone who is worried, upset, or suicidal; 0845 90 90 90. Email jo@samaritans.org. NHS Direct – A helpline with health advice provided by NHS nurses; 0845 4647. PAPYRUS is a voluntary UK organisation committed to the prevention of young suicide and the promotion of mental health and emotional wellbeing. Helpline:- HOPELineUK 08000 68 41 41 Mon-Fri 10:00 am to 5:00 pm and 7:00 pm to 10:00 pm Weekends 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm